Hollow and Silent as the grave it’d become, save for the vague and unfamiliar whirring of electricity, the soft blast of air from a system that warmed the room, and the constant ticking of a grandfather clock by the fireplace.

The rest of the room was neat except for the toys spread over the carpeted floor in front of the fire hearth. Couches were pushed back, leaving a wide space for the children that used to play there. To one wall, shelves were packed with books, thick and thin volumes and the occasional picture. A frame had been set up on the third shelf of one of these, in front of books that likely held more portraits.

Her eyes went down to the blade of her dagger, a flash of sunlight bouncing from it. She was so used to it that she didn’t care anymore. She chewed the inside of her cheek before looking up at the frame again.

A man held a woman and two infants in his arms, both adults smiling widely, eyes glowing with delight while the tiny ones in their arms slept.

Her blood boiled again at the image of their joy.

The couple was young but had clearly been together long enough. Three more children stood in front of them, looking between the ages of ten and four. Two of them wore grins on their faces, one of them displaying a gap or two where teeth had fallen out, and the smallest one, clinging to her mother’s skirts.

The family was set in a green field dotted with wild mountain flowers, and even had a majestic mountain glowing in sunlight behind them.

Aitah hadn’t the slightest clue who they’d been, what sort of life they’d lived or how long they’d been this sweet looking family.

It wouldn’t’ve mattered or changed anything.

She’d killed them. All of them. By herself.

​
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Y’know, as an author, I can honestly say that one of the worst parts of writing is creating the villain. Say hullo to mine Aitah Leurey Detvah.

I’m sure not everyone reading, and certainly not everyone writing, agrees with my next statement, but it’s really hard piecing together a person destined to death because they’re the bad guy. Don’t get me wrong, character building is AWESOME. I love it! But I personally struggle with making my characters my close friends; they’re real to me. Not just the main character, but the side characters too. So where does that put my villain? Sadly, the same spot.

Aitah, from Echoes After Death, is the most relatable villain I’ve ever created. Just like all my other characters, she has a story. All the things that shaped her to be a killing machine as shown in the excerpt above are stored away in the archives in my mind. I loved making her. I loved giving her that story. I also loved seeing Horizon conquer her though.

The point I’m trying to get at is this: it’s easy to look at Aitah and be sympathetic toward her because of the life she had to live; but that doesn’t justify what she chose to do throughout the entirety of Echoes After Death.

As the author, anyone can blame me, and I will take that. Yes, I made her. Yes, Aitah is exactly what I intended her to be. But as I’m coming to the part of writing backstories, I'm honestly not so excited to write hers even though I have more planned out for her. Though I love her, she doesn’t need more attention than she gets in the book.

Something I don't like in life these days is how much everyone looks at the bad guys and says they’re cool or that they just need a chance and a choice.

I do wish everyone had a chance, but the simple fact is this: they had–and if they’re still alive– still have that chance in front of them. But the choice to take it is THEIRS. And with choices come consequences whether good or bad.

This sounds harsh, maybe it is, but this is also an expression of something likely controversial that I could lose friends over: I believe this is the way the author of our lives works too.

God created all of us with a purpose. Some will choose one thing, others will choose another and some will choose Him. But He is a Just God. If there is sin to be dealt with, He will deal with it. The best thing about God though, is that though He is a just God, He is just as much a Gracious God. Not like some teenage author who mercilessly makes her villain kill off sweet characters(arrows pointed somewhere far off in Alaska). His offer of salvation stands now and forever. And in His case, if Aitah would’ve turned toward Him and asked Him to forgive her sins, even with all the pain she caused, He would’ve. He would’ve looked past the black and the red, and He would’ve called her His own. Her past stories would’ve been gone to Him and he would just see His daughter, broken and in pain, and would’ve brought healing and fulfillment.

It’s easy to look over this and say, ‘come on Esthrousalem, this is fiction. God can’t save Aitah cause she’s not real.’

To that I’ll say, true. But what about you? YOU have a choice in life, and YOU have a purpose. He’s more than happy to take you. God loves His creation. He doesn’t want anyone to die without knowing Him and go to Hell.

You might be someone who doesn’t believe in heaven or hell or God of the universe; Jesus Christ who came to earth as a baby with the sole purpose of saving us humans.

If that’s you then this is my question: where did you come from and what purpose do you have if the world is just going to go on when you die? What happens when you die?

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Just a question I felt I needed to ask.