The Irish Twins Episode Ten:

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Hey guys, its me. The crazy 15 year old dude who is... tap dancing on the side of the road? *shakes head disapprovingly* "This monkey is still dancing and its 2026! For the love of Pete kid!"

At any rate. I'm actually not on the side of the road right now. Believe it or not I'm by a cozy wood stove, sitting in front of a messy desk, listening to a writing lecture from Brett Harris, as well as the wild cries of a half dozen playful siblings waiting for the snow to pass.

I tend to hibernate. Y'all might think I'm crazy but that's ok. I HATE cold. That's not to say I disapprove of winter, I just don't like to be in it. By all means set me down for some jazzy music and a cup of coffee. Its stinkin' cozy! But its not cozy when your snot starts freezing in your nose... And that's the author coming out of me...

Anywho, I'm back to rant on my themes. So here is the question I've been mulling over for a while. And I'm gonna ask it in a roundabout way just because that's how I roll.

I got to see Dear Evan Hansen for the first time about a month ago. For those of you who don't know. It was originally a Broadway musical and was turned into a movie in 2021. It canvasses the brokenness of this generation. The depression and pain and feelings of Anonymity and Loneliness so many of these kids and teens are subjected to. The extent of drug use and honestly just the way the system is rigged to pop the light bulbs in these generations heads.

ANYWAYS. STOP RANTING GIL.

OK OK ILL STOP.

To continue-

The story follows Evan, a young man with social anxiety, depression and a number of other things that make him really hard to interact with. I notice that the film does really well tying value back to both personal esteem, and helping others. And I loved it for that, it was tragic and beautiful. But how does God fit in?

I notice that a lot of Theologians from the Christian side of thing, deny that psychology has any value because our value should be found in who we are in Christ. And, the same answer is being presented to those with depression, and anxiety and bipolar and- and and and.... the list goes on.

I have to say.... I disagree.

I absolutely believe that our value is found in Christ. But as believers. We have faith of what we hope for, and are convinced of what we do not see. We know and embrace the fact that we are beautifully and wonderfully made, and "Redeemed by the blood of the lamb"​

Redeemed, Redeemed

Redeemed by the blood of the lamb

Redeemed through his infinite mercy

His child, and forever, I am.

Anyways, forgive my spontaneous outburst of hymns.

Here is the issue. Someone who is depressed is in the mental state that they are not any of those things listed above, they are downtrodden and un-valuable in their own eyes. They have lost a lot of hope for the future.

So, what do we really need to show them? Should we preach a sermon before we tell the story?

People don't learn outside of personal experience.

They can understand in principle, have a bumper sticker tagline down that says God is love. But if they've never experienced that? They just don't have the same connection.

I believe it is admirable and good to show them their value in Christ. But until they see the value that they contain as a beautiful creation, as someone who is capable, unique and beautiful. Will they really find themselves valuable in that light?

My point is that "God helps those who help themselves" in other words if you need help and sit there fantasizing that it will just change then nothing will happen. We have free will, but that doesnt always constitute the strength to force things you cant change to change in an instant. Make that call and ask for help.

If you struggle with Depression, suicidal thoughts, or anything similar don't wait. I repeat. DONT WAIT. Get Help. God will provide the lamb. But you have to go get it out of the bush.

I think not. I could be wrong. But that's my opinion. We shouldn't be putting the cart before the horse. That wont get anywhere. My point is not to discourage preaching the good news. I merely want to bring to light that there are steps to this process.

Please share your opinions on this topic. Honestly, as great as it is that I have an opinion, I am a human being. I have faults and bias and am just as sinful as you, if not more so. Id love to see your thoughts and combine them into this idea, to paint a bigger picture. Because this is just a small piece in a megalithic puzzle. And that small piece still needs to be folded into the artwork that we call life.

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Now that I have Ranted

Anywho, I'm through with that. I think.... hmmm.... Ill chuck in a list of books and Movies and... well a blog because the author still HAS NOT PUBLISHED. *Glares at Allie*

#1 First and Foremost.... Dear Evan Hansen,

more because it was one of the more recent things Ive seen on the subject of mental health and self-worth. But also cause... ITS A MUSICAL. Musicals are the greatest, I feel like the combination of story and song is the most powerful way to get a message across. So... hopefully I can find someone who see's potential in my novels. Enough that I can get some songs written about it. Cause the Lord only knows how miserable my skills are. "Sometimes God gives you these songs cause he didnt want em!" *cackles* That's not to be taken seriously, but I felt that Mark Lowry's quip in the one comedy video he did was well placed here.

As far as Evan Hansen goes? All versions need vid angel. They all have various sexual references and/or scenes. They all have a heavy amount of swearing. Actually, that was all we filtered out, because otherwise you may as well skip the film. There is attempted suicide, self-harm and suicide references and insinuations, a lot of degradation both from others and the internal thoughts of the main characters. The main character questions how valuable life is multiple times, and throughout the film, while we watch Evan grow, we get to experience his hopelessness.

There is a bit of violence and ultimately? Evan is not a great person. Not till the end at least. Its a heavy movie and you will probably cry.

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#2 Second and Secondmost-... I'm gonna wait for that to sink in....

*giggles*

I say The Giver Quartet by Lois Lowry

These books, although its not the main point of the story, wrestle a lot with self-worth and painful thoughts. The questions of whether life is better to be skipped because of how hard it is. Ultimately I see these books as fitting this category not because they exemplify it. But because they show a positive character arc through these questions. What life looks like on the flip side of pain. Where you realize that you re loved, able, and valuable beyond comparison.

They also showed how this can empower you to be a better person. How it encourages you to be selfless because you don't just see yourself in a hole, you see everyone else on a level playing field with yourself, and you understand that they all need life and love as much as you do.

Ill say, that's not the main point of Giver, but I admired how these ideals were used throughout the series. I think I draw back most with her main characters of each book, as well as Giver and his daughter. Self-Sacrifice is very much the flip side of Self-hatred. Give with all your heart, and blessings fall back. Maybe not in ways you expect. Or hope for. But God uses these things for the glory of his name and teaches you to pull back a bow of bronze that your hands may be trained for war.

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#3 Now that I lead up to it. The Bronze Bow by Elizabeth George Speare

This exemplified the struggle with failing others, with helplessness and how Christ specifically cures and saves these failings of the human intellect. It is a beautiful reminder that Christ taught us how to escape these prisons of the mind. And it is to find our value in "Loving God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength. And to Love your Neighbor as yourself."

Our value is servanthood. More than anything else. You can always be a servant. Always. There is no time that you cannot be. Even if you are alone. Remember you have a voice, you have thoughts. You can serve people with prayer. With blessings and pronouncing life over them.

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#4 Now... to reference an author. Allie Lynn.

A friend so to speak. But an even better Author. I will recommend her books to anyone who asks.

No swearing, no sexual content. There are references to drug use, sexual abuse, etc. But nothing explicit or gross. There is reference and occasions of self harm or thoughts that could lead to those ends. But nothing gratuitous.

There is also violence... but lets be real... its dystopian. What did you expect?

Allie does a very very very good job at developing her characters, so much so that I would choose to be friends with most of them if they existed. They are unique and human. Ultimately the trauma and hurt they experience is a massive awareness raiser and a personal encouragement "Sometimes the strongest people you know are just waiting to curl up into the right pair of arms and cry."

They exemplify how we can bless others and bring them hope that they feel is lost. How to grow past painful experiences and into the person that God has placed her for such a time as this. How the Author uses our pain to bless others. It hurts, but ultimately God has it covered.

The relationships, friends, siblings, parents, spouses, children, found family. They all go to show just how powerful that love and interpersonal relationships are.

If you subscribe to her Newsletter on the website you can get "The Color of a Horse's Song" for free. And in the Fiction section in the same blog you can find some Protectors Short Stories, Migration Patterns Snippet Series(I FREAKING LOVE MORTI AND IRIS), and the old draft of DOTA(Dust of the Arena).

Then if you Subscribe on Substack you can nail the recently launched New Version of DOTA. It just released and we are still SCREAMING FOR THE NEXT SNIPPET. *ROARS IN GRUMPY READERHOOD*

Speaking of DOTA! I happen to have the blurb for this one:

Dust doesn’t wash off easily, and neither does the blood from the past.
Nine years ago, the world called her a hero, turning a blind eye to the bloodshed she caused as a champion in the Altered gladiator Arenas when she teamed up with the good guys to help shut them down for good. Now, all Chaya Deneral wants to do is forget every piece of the past that had turned her into a slaughtering monster and try to live in peace on the homestead-- and with the scrappy little found family-- she tends to, safely tucked away in the Southern Nevada desert.
Except her attempts to make restitution for her past crimes come to bite her when the cartel who originally kidnapped the kids she protects burns her homestead to the ground, and Chaya suddenly finds herself and her family thrown into a tangled web of faces and names from her past with not just the Arenas, but the organization funding it all behind the scenes, A.S.H.E.S.
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Nine years ago, Reed Alexander risked his life to enter the Arenas to help shut it down from the inside-- and maybe, finally gain some Altered powers like the rest of his family in the process. His rash decision, while it led to the end of the Arenas, also led to the end of his family-- and almost the end of him. And it may still lead to the end of him, with his body finally attacking the implanted genetics of an ability supposed to belong to only one person in the world.
Death isn’t really an option, however, with the fate of not just the world’s largest rehab organization for Altereds on his shoulders, but the fate of several teen Altereds across the country who have mysteriously gone missing over the last several months, thanks to the syndicate A.S.H.E.S.. Now, with several members of his field team having gone missing trying to rescue them, Reed is on a race not just to uphold his family’s legacy, but to save the friend who convinced him life was worth living. It’s possible that he can be saved by a second implant of stabilizer genes from the donor for his ability in the first place-- but Chaya disappeared from his life the last time he almost died, and trying to find her risks tearing open more old wounds than he can afford.
When the events surrounding A.S.H.E.S. brings them together, Chaya and Reed find themselves thrown into a conflict they thought they had resolved, back to the underworld both of them want to forget. The dust of the Arenas doesn’t wash off easily, and it rubs into wounds neither of them want to confront.
But it might be the only way to keep history from repeating itself.
The Shattered Ones meets Fates Defiant and Jenna Terese’s Ignite in this desert-bound superhero dystopian about forgiving your past, fighting your fears about the future, and the family you find in between.

The website is here: https://equineonthemind.com/​

And Substack: https://substack.com/@equineonthemind​

I encourage-cancel that- you HAVE to visit and sample her writing. Then you can decide if you want to support her.

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#5 Last but not least... Dehumanize by Macy Wickins ​

Excitement is brewing in the tiny town of Kimmswick, Missouri, when native Aster Cordero returns to major swimming competition. After suffering a devastating injury while going for the Olympics the year before, she's back on the national stage, this time as a serious competitior, and quickly draws everyone's attention.
But with her abusive father's somewhat violent resistance to her swimming career, will she be able to fulfill her dreams? Aster's motivation and drive is running low, and her dream is fading, when disaster strikes. What is most important to her, might not be her beloved sport.

This book had me up 6 hours past bedtime. That is a NEVER HAPPENS EVENT in this household. Because of how structured I have made my schedule to do. I willingly get up at 4AM every morning to write... If I stay up till 2AM reading a book... Bet your bottom dollar its for a reason!

I sobbed too. Read the book to figure out why.

Content rating? One attempted rape it is onscreen but the antagonist character in that scene does nothing more than get his hand on the zipper of a dress. A fair bit of physical abuse from her father and the MC's watching her mother and grandmother suffer their own blows. And that's it. A few men get shot in a shootout in Beijing, Aster uses the word h*ll a couple times outside of a theological sense.

I actually wanted to analyze this and figure out why I liked it so much and to spot possible issues. I didnt catch any first time around. I was too focused on the characters and plot.

I just re-finished it last night anddddd these are my thoughts!

I still cant bring myself to rate it lower than 5 stars. It reminds me of Kilmeny of the orchard in which I know that there are things that are done in a way that isn't always the most direct to what folks say how a story should be. But it captures my heart and imagination.
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The biggest issues were with pacing and plot twist foreshadowing. Actually, the two went hand in hand. The plot twists, at least a lot of them were very abrupt, not much money put on them yet. They hadn't quite existed.
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What I cannot figure out for the life of me is why they still felt natural and accurate to the story despite their being such a noticeable gap. Like literally they still felt like they fit perfectly and felt reasonable to the previous plot.
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Im still at the point where, if I were a publisher I would pick it up, like you see in all the comments I made on the story there, that there are things I would firm up and add to. But ultimately you have a diamond in the rough. SUPER HYPED FOR BOOK TWO.
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In Overview. My heart still melted. I still cried. Same story, same effect. Same everything. I was just more attentive to the writing this time.

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Now I got another snippet.... This time from a short story. My antagonist backstory. And... No he is not the villain. There is a difference. I promise... This is when he was like... 16 years old.

Strength and Manhood: Antagonist Backstory

Sparks flew with each slam of Kirk’s hammer. I pumped the bellows heavily, harnessing as much of that boyish pride and developing muscle as I could. I was exhausted, but still pumping. My muscles were taut and strained, I could sense that I was gaining strength with each pull.

“Pain is weakness leaving the body.” Master Kirk said, noticing the wince on my face. “This blade be yours, but, aint nothin comes free in life.”

Myra had promised that this blade would be mine however, and Myra knew her Da well. Kirk was an honest man, a strong hand at the anvil and the iron forge. One of the men of stature in the community.

We Waldenses prided ourselves on strength and stature. Although the surrounding nations were significantly taller than we. Kirk defied that limitation, one of the few full blooded Waldenses who towered over the rest of us. Both in might and in height. I believed that the only reason he accepted me into his brood, or even considered me a fair match for sweet Myra, was my stature. I was scrawnier, but far taller than most boys my age. And thus, taller than many of the men in the village.

“I wish you would not linger on the bellows, sonny, it makes for faulty products.”

I leapt onto the bellows and pressed it heavily again.

The huge smelting pot was bubbling heavily, sending a slight spray of liquidized tin, copper and bronze onto the sandy floor. Kirk adjusted the apron over his broad chest, driving his hammer into the angry red metal a few more times then thrusting it into a barrel of water.

His hand was practiced at this. I could see that blade, despite still being hot, being used in that same way to be thrust into an enemy trooper.

I peeked out the door while shoving on the bellows again. A burst of hot air struck my face from the flames.

Kirk raised his hand and then replaced the blade into the forge. “Y’see lad, everything must be labored for by someone. As a man ye will be, you will find that, its you who must complete the labor to establish a happy bungalow. Me daughter does love ya– which don’t leave much room for shirking growth in tha way of defendin yerself, Ise won’t let it happen– but women be havin it hard to understand logic many-a-time. I knows yer book learnin be meanin a lot to ye, but ta be a man is the thing that’ll keep ye’s safe’n sound when enemies are round. When the cold o’ winter strikes yer cabin and ye have nothin left but yer wife and yer blankets ta keep warmth in.”

He dragged the blade out of the flames and began to beat at it again. “Myra’ll get her wish ta have ye. For ya be a tall lad, well built with a little exercise and experience. More’n that she loves ya, and ye love her. That is most important when deciding fer your daughter.”

He paused and looked at me curiously. “Certainly, I hope yer Da starts teachin ye some real manly traits soon, cause if he dont, I’ll be a takin it on. If ye hope ta be with Myra a’fore winter you will need to know sword play and sports of strength. Surely farming and general work round about the house are helpful, but they’d never do in a calculated raid. How long is ye gonna stand with a pitchfork while arrows be flyin in yer face, or a man be slaughtering yer wee bairns? Ey?”

“Aye. I needs me strength, and I needs me manhood. But father is right, peace is better. Why fight when we can be brothers united. Maybe someday, people like me Da will make that happen with peaceful antics.”

Kirk shook his head. “Aye, maybe that’ll be true of it. But till tha world be having riddance of miserable wretches like that king in Bretony, naurone’ll rest easy at night without a sword by their headboard.” He picked up the sword examining the flat of the blade, the edge, and tip, chuckling heartily.

I smiled gently. “Sir, would you refuse me if I refused to learn the sword?”

He spit on the blade, and smiled at the hard sizzle it produced. Then he plunged it into the water barrel again.

“Naur. Twouldnt do that to Myra. If need be, Ill fight fer ya myself. But let me tell you boy, peace is only attained by a sword dedicated to justice. Tis a hard lesson, but one that has been proven over n over again by the trials of life. A strong hand is the way to large change. But that does not eliminate the necessity for your mind ma Laddie. Ya see, a soft hand mollifies and a strong mind builds the structure on which strength must be demonstrated.”

He paused for a moment, seeming a little dumbstruck by his own logic. “Think o this, tha man who invented the sword did so by strength. But twould be unusable in another man with a mind had not show how ta use it. The tool is hopeless without the understanding to drive it. So’s a’sayin lad, I want ye fer me daughter, she be a fighter ye be a logical feller, that brings a part ta me household that, I cannae say I have much of. It means me daughter will be given understanding that I cannae have. By jove Id fight fer ya. But ta protect yer own is yer callin as a man. You lead, you carry the weight, you fight till ye die ta keep thems family ye got safe in their holler.”

“I see what you are saying. Ill learn the sword, Kirk. But, if I may- I can help you with my portion of blessing as well. Someday, when people like me can get to the big men of culture and share truths like what you have just divested, there will be no need for soldiers. There will however, be a necessity for wise men who can express themselves well.”

“Aye.” Kirk said thoughtfully.

I shifted and lifted my foot up onto the bellows stool. Hanging my arm from the handle limply.

Kirk sighed and pulled the blade from the barrel, running his eyes over the flat and the edge. “Come back in a few days son, and Ill have your blade ready. For now? May the Road Rise to Meet ya.”

I nodded my thanks and ran out of the shop. Myra was waiting.

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Hope Y’all folks enjoyed this edition. I know I had fun writing it… Hopefully its not too rambly… Ill work on consolidating ASAP… whatever that means… Probably: Act Swiftly Awesome Pachyderm! *winks*

Who got that quote?

See you on Mount Nool.

FAREWELLETH!